Life throws up many questions each day. What should I wear today? Should I get some breakfast before going out? Would anyone care if I just never showed up for work again?
Existential dread aside, there's been one question that has bugging me for a number of years. It's nothing to do with the meaning of life, it's even more important than football: who would you be on Stars In Their Eyes?
It's a puzzler, no doubt about it. Some people go through life convinced that their true calling is to impersonate Boy George, others have an unfulfilled yearning to sing Wherever I Lay My Hat... in front of millions of people. Me, I've never been sure. There's been times when I've thought I could maybe pull off a passable Kurt Cobain but there's something in his voice, don't you think? It sounds a trite thing to say, especially as I've never been a massive Nirvana fan, but I think there are certain singers who can make an emotional connection with people over and above their voice: in my opinion Cobain was one, Jeff Mangum was another, just as one example.
So maybe Lemmy? Um...
But tonight, I may just have answered that question. Just too late in fact, as Joaquin Phoenix has gone and done it better than I possibly could. Of course, Johnny Cash, I don't know why it didn't occur before. I can reach the low notes in Folsom Prison , and hopefully instil a little gravitas in proceedings if I sing slowly enough.
If we're brutally honest, Stars In Their Eyes is far less about the singing than it should be, and much more about the look, and again that man has trumped me. There's a sneer there that seemed more of a snivelling gurn in Gladiator, but has come into it's own, capturing Cash's mannerisms so well. Plus, he dresses in black alot, which helps. It looks like he's going to a funeral.
"Maybe I am..."
It takes a lot to capture the hunted look of one fuelled by all sorts of nameless things, but by the end of it, Johnny Cash was, of course, the coolest man in the world, so obviously a film about his life had to do really well. And it did (maybe the ending wasn't perfect, maybe that's just me being contrary: the Evening Standard called it flawless, I wanted to pick holes). It's an excellently done film, and I'd love to be able to support it all the way at the Oscars. However, seeing as I go to the cinema just less times than make dinner without meat in, I haven't seen any of the other contenders.
Still, that sort of thing has never stopped me passing judgement on places I've never been to or bands I've never heard, so what the heck. Walk The Line, walk the red carpet.
Q: who would you be on Star's In Their Eyes?